My friend Jen just wrote a great post on fears that consume you. I feel like my fears change as Grayson gets older.
I never really understood why moms would cry when their kids went off to kindergarten. That is, until my oldest started inching his way to kindergarten. Thankfully, since the cut off dates have changed here, we now have 3 years left before Grayson gets on that yellow school bus & heads off to elementary school.
Grayson is such a special kid. He is SUCH a boy but has such a tender heart. We have lots of play dates & venture out to playgrounds quite a bit & it is always interesting to watch him interact with other boys close to his age.
Grayson is a lot like I was as a child & I will tell you why this makes me feel uneasy. I was painfully shy as a kid & never stood up for myself. Ever. I let mean kids walk all over me. I had a hard time talking to people outside of my neighborhood friends that I grew up with. I really didn't break out of my shell until the last few years of high school.
I know how mean kids can be & it literally makes my stomach churn just thinking about how G will eventually have to face that. I hope I can teach him how to be kind to people AND how to stick up for himself.
I know he is going to cry. I know he'll tell me some day that someone was mean to him. I know he is going to hurt sometimes. I want so badly to shelter him from all the crazies & mean people in this world. If being a total helicopter mom wasn't frowned upon, I would probably be that way. But I know I have to let him learn things on his own.
I've decided that I think this is the hardest part of parenting; letting them go a little so they can grow up & figure some things out on their own. Goodness, just typing that out and I get a little panicky. That fear just has a grip on me. I am so afraid of letting him spread his little wings & then experiencing some kind of hurt. Grayson just seems so innocent now & I can't stand the thought of that being broken. This is a fear I know I need to give to the Lord & I'm working on that. Is this a fear for you??
2 comments:
I know exactly how you feel! It is so hard to let them go, even just a little bit! I had a moment this weekend, we went to the zoo and a little boy said "Stop looking at me" to Owen and mama bear was not happy!! I gave that kid a scowl of a lifetime!! ;)
My daughter is only 9 months and I already feel this way. A few days ago when I picked her up at daycare she was playing in the playpen with another baby who is only a few months older than her. He pushed her backwards and took the toy she had. I wanted to cry...
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