Going into motherhood, one of my biggest fears was always that I would never have that feeling of being done. I had so many friends tell me that they just knew at a certain time that they were not meant to have any more kids. Ben was always pretty set on 3 kids; I had always said I wanted 4 kids. I was pretty certain that he would win that battle & I was so worried that I would never share that same feeling of when our family was complete.
But God is funny. He has a way of changing your heart even when you are not asking for change. Pretty soon after we found out we were pregnant for the 3rd time, I just knew that it would be the last time we added a baby to our family. I finally had that feeling that baby #3, whether it be a boy or girl, would be the one to complete our family. And I had a complete sense of peace about it.
The stage of life we have been in has been looping. We go two years & then we start over in the baby phase. It's a weird place to be knowing that we are now in a stage where that won't happen again. We will keep moving forward and our babies will {gasp} grow up! There will be no more talk of trying for a baby or how far apart we want the next one to be. It's bittersweet. I love the baby stage. LOVE it. I will miss having a sweet, snuggly newborn in our house. I will miss all those firsts that are so exciting. But on the other hand, I am pretty excited to just sit back (ha! please know that I don't mean that literally because when do parents ever get to just sit back?!) and watch these 3 tiny humans grow up together. I'm ready for this new phase of life and am welcoming it with open arms.
So for now, I am soaking up my little baby because I know she's my last. I do get sad thinking about it sometimes, but it's a nice feeling knowing that this is our family. Our party of 5.