11.25.2018

a life well lived


88 years. That is how long my Granddaddy lived on this earth. We actually went down to Georgia this past summer to celebrate his 88th birthday with him. He was battling leukemia, but he looked good & he felt pretty good. We ate chocolate cake and spent the day with him. I actually have a video of my kids singing "happy birthday" to him as he blew out his candles and it is a video I will cherish forever. 

Grief is such a weird thing. I have felt so many emotions over the last week but the sadness really does just feel like a gut punch every now & then when I least expect it. I sat on my front stoop last Sunday while hanging our outside Christmas lights and just cried. I knew the end was near & I just sat down and wrote out all of my thoughts that I wanted to say at the funeral. He went to be Jesus the next day. It is sad, like, the very thought of never seeing him on his couch at his house makes me just want to fall apart, kind of sad. BUT, my Granddaddy was a man of God--he loved the Lord. I know he is with Jesus & he is no longer suffering from that awful disease. The many emotions I have been feeling? That's where that comes in. Relief, because I know he no longer hurts. JOY, because I know that it is not a forever type of goodbye...I will see him again. My heart is full knowing that he is reunited with his wife of 63 years. 

There are so many things I will always remember about my Granddaddy's character. He was such a good man.  He was a generous and kind man; even as he was getting poked and prodded ALL the time these last few months, he always told his nurses "thank you." His caregivers all spoke about how kind he was. I remember the lawn guy telling my dad last month how sorry he was that Granddaddy was so sick because he just really enjoyed him. I never once saw him get angry. He was gentle and patient. Those are the ways I hope that I can be more like him. He left quite a legacy & I am so thankful our kids got a chance to know him and love him. Cheers to 88 years of a life well lived! 

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